I haven’t written for some time, not because I haven’t wanted to but rather because I simply have had no energy to.
I have had lots of ideas but not enough spoons http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
I have come to realise that doing so much outside of my comfort zone as an autistic takes its toll and I am so very, very tired, not helped by ongoing battles with depression.
I love doing my autism advocacy (it remains a passion) while juggling things on the home front. But I am also doing more self care: more exercise (the gym!), more walking (the dog), more sleeping, less socialising, less worrying about the stuff I am not doing.
For more on Autistic burnout see this link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZwfujkNBGk
I recommend all autistics take active steps to manage stress and take time out for themselves, to care for themselves. Sometimes autistic females (in particular) are so busy taking care of others that we forget to care for ourselves. I feel, but am not certain, some of this burnout may get worse as we age.
In the meantime things that are going well (in no particular order):
My world of autism: Feeling accepted with my peers, feeling accepted by the organisation I work for (a development is in the pipeline for next month).
The gym which I enjoy it when I get there. Our gym equipment has devices you can connect headphones to so you can watch tv or listen to music channels, Or if you wear headphones to cancel out noise no one will think it odd. The gym has 24 hour access so I can go at quiet times (7am I am usually one of only 2 on a Sunday morning for example) and not be overloaded.
My family relationships. I am able to enjoy my adult children and their joys in life. My husband finally has time, motivation and help to get some of the jobs done around the home. That’s helping our relationship and making some tasks just a little easier.
My dog: She is always pleased to see me, a loyal companion even when I feel depression getting to me.